i work three days a week (i know, i've blogged about this before). tuesdays and thursdays are 11 hour days - LONG, exhausting days. on my work days i get up between 5:45 - 6 a.m. (which means that if i want to be able to get up on time AND be happy about it, i need to get to bed early, preferably before 10 p.m.) i get off at 6 p.m. and by the time i get home i feel i have nothing left to give. but i try to get some dinner ready if daddy hasn't already done so, check homework, and then bathe and tuck the kids in, and prepare lunches for tomorrow. wednesdays are 6 hour days and i try to get home early to prep things because those are mutual nights for YW at 7p.m. then my days off are spent washing clothes, vacuuming my house, you know the routine. saturdays are family days, sundays are church days. this schedule is VERY different from the one i had previous to me working. i didn't really have a schedule and had all the time in the world to do anything i wanted or needed to. sometimes i feel guilty for working and not being a fulltime mom and miss my former life.
lately i have been feeling the drain of it all. especially since i am getting over being sick. i feel like there is a vaccuum, sucking time away from me and there isn't much left to play around with. i think about my brother and sisters and their families and my parents and i miss them. it's nice to have mom and angela here with me now, and dad was out for a nice visit earlier this month.
i think about my neice and nephews.
i think about my sister jessyca and how she and dennis will be going through the temple for the first time very soon and i long to be there for it and wish i could give jess a great big hug everyday and i think of lucas often.
i think about makana and emily and auden and ehren and i wish we lived closer so our kids could play together and how makana is in dire need of a tan (love you, makana) and how awesome it will be for emily to start her postgraduate degree in creative writing -- go, mama!!!
i think about kalei and shane, drew, and ty and about ty having to have surgery this summer and how sweet drew is and how quickly he is growing up and how great he and malik would get along with their love for things with wheels.
i think about faith turning 8 next year and about my dad coming out to baptize her.
i think about my dad and his promotion and how i regret not being able to go to the hawaii temple with him while he was here.
i think about my sister alohi who just graduated from BYUH in elementary education and how she will probably be leaving me alone again in hawaii to pursue other endeavors and about her turning 25 tomorrow. i love you so much, family.
i also think about dear friends who are always there for me even though i can't seem to return the favor as of late. forgive me for never being able to join you for craft nights and birthdays and other events i used to frequent, i love and miss you girls and all the fun we have.
i also think about the young women and hope i can do better in magnifying my calling and being a good, positive influence in their lives. i reflect on youth conference and listening to the solid testimonies of the youth and how great and wonderful they are.
i'm also thinking about how much i am enjoying reading again, my love of books was rekindled while traveling and i'm currently (and thoroughly) enjoying 'the wise man's fear' (and staying up way too late lately to read just a few more pages - maybe that's why i'm sick?...)
maybe i'm just tired, but this is me up and blogging again in all my honest, mushy, splendor. me and doug did take a super radical trip in march and maybe when i get a new computer that isn't so s-l-o-w, i will upload photos and expound on the details and indulge you all (oh, and i {and doug, faith, and malik, mom, angela, and alohi} did go shooting with my uncle and that was a blast, too, and i do look something fierce in pictures doug took of me with a gun in my hand, so i may just end up blogging about that adventure in the near future, too...).
but for now, i'm just living life as best i can and enjoying my family, mom and sisters when i get the chance.
til next time...
xoxoxo,
liko
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8 comments:
I loved reading about all of your thoughts.
Lots of love, Liko. You're an amazing woman.
Love you Liko! You keep up with it all so well.
i love liko! we all understand your busy schedule, but i do look forward to seeing you again soon. you are doing great. keep it up momma!
good work, liko, you're a great mama/breadwinner/gunwielder/sister/masseuse/whole SHEbang.
hi liko. i miss you and love you. you are doing so well... sorry about all of your business. it really is wearing. we need a girls' night!!!
You are one hard working woman. And so devoted to family and friends (and sounds like to your YW too). Keep up the awesomeness and don't be too hard on yourself. :)
You are in the running for the hardest working mom I know award.I don't know how you do it.
Life is draining. I'll give you a big AAAAAMMMMEEEEEEEN to that one!
nice post. you have an awesome family and are super strong for being able to live so far from him. i don't know if i could do it without my family. i've always lived so close to them, and now we live right next door to gamans family. i feel like i wouldn't know how to go on without them near. so props to you.
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