A lot has happened since valentines day...

Thursday, February 17, 2011, my grandma Beatrice Laua'e (Sproat) Ayoso passed away.  She had diabetes and was on dialysis and had slowly been going downhill.  She had been ready to go for a while and in some ways it gave me peace knowing she no longer had to suffer.  And I know that I will see her again. 

me and makana in t-shirts and underwear in the gulch

jessyca and i at pololu to see great-grandpa, eating our oatcakes in swimsuits

picnicking at pololu with grandma, grandpa, and great-grandpa sproat

three little monkeys (me, jess, and makana) sitting on a bench, pololu

at grandma's house (amity, grandma, and i)

kalei, nicole, grandma, brandon

grandma's birthday

before church in hawi

mahukona

When I think of grandma, I think about Kohala.  About warm, sunny, windy days.  About her playing the piano, eating her fruits, going to church with her, playing in the gulch, swimming at Mahukona and Keokea, picnicking at great-grandpa's house at Pololu, her words of wisdom, her love for the gospel, her wonderful stories about growing up in the valley (Honokane Iki) and family -- she was a great storyteller, her gardenias, her calling me her 'kohala girl' because  I was born there, all the birthday cards filled with "crack-seed" money and personal notes of love we'd get right on time every year for our birthdays, her love.  She was everything a good grandma should be.  I love her and will miss her. A hui hou, grandma.

Then on March 1, 2011, we found out that my nephew Lucas was diagnosed with having a tumor in his brain.  It was malignant and inoperable and his time on earth was short.  He passed away Thursday evening, March 3, 2011 at four months old.  I got to know him through Facebook videos and photos.  I know he was a choice spirit and if we live righteously we will see him again and I will be able to meet him.  My sister, Jessyca and her husband Dennis have strong testimonies about eternal families and look forward to being able to raise him someday.  Families can be together forever.  That is my comfort.  Lucas has taught me to enjoy motherhood more, to appreciate how blessed I am, to hug my babies a little tighter.  I love you, Lucas, Jessyca and Dennis.

election day 2010

was a weird day, to say the least.

For me, it started at 5:45 a.m. I got outta bed and went to wake Malik up.  When I set foot in his room, there was a smell.  Then I saw it: the pumpkin the kids got from the neighbor on Halloween night.  It was melted.  Melting.  It was no longer spherical in shape.  It collapsed in on itself.  It was a moldy mess, dripping down the shelf.  It was nasty.

I cleaned that up.

Then I dug in the dryer for some clothes and found Doug's wallet in there.  Yep.  The ONE time I forget to go through his pockets there's something in it.  And the wallet was here and he was on the westside.  Driving.  Walletless.  And I don't like it when he drives that way.

So I remove the contents from said wallet and lay them out on the countertop to dry.

We get out the door.  I'm driving the fut-fut car (a.k.a. our '96 Toyota Corolla).  In Hau'ula, a cop decides to pull me over.  Oh, joy.  My safety is expired AND my registration sticker is expired (the current one was in the glove compartment) AND the current insurance card is nowhere to be found inside the vehicle.

Good thing he let me off with only a warning.

And I was late for work.

Then, while I was at work, I heard on the radio that Andy Irons died.  His wife is due with their first child next month.  So sad.

And there was that car accident in Laie.  I hear the man is in a coma.

And there was something going on at Kakela - helicopters and firetrucks (I heard all of this secondhand, so I'm not sure about the details or the accuracy).

And today I heard that on election day there was also a beating at the North Shore skatepark.  Some BYU students, a husband and wife were beaten so badly with a crowbar, they had to be taken to Queen's Medical Center.

What.a.day.

a whole lotta nothing

going on.

faith got medicine for bronchitis, then malik and i got sick.

wet coughs and runny noses galore along with plugged ears.

asthma? maybe. bronchitis? maybe.

we've been hanging low, trying to make the best of our situation.

faith and malik like to dress up:

and we've all been doing a whole lotta this while trying out a variety of meds:

can't wait to be healthy again!!!

comatose

after his first dose of amoxicillin:

after her first dose of azithromycin

i was hoping these two would be better by now without needing to be prescribed anything.
but their endless coughing was wreaking havoc on their nightly sleeping routines. and on top of that, malik has an ear infection. so today we went to pay the doctor a visit.

they both have been feeling pretty icky for days. now that we're armed with antibiotics, we are anticipating feeling a whole lot better. in no time, faith will be able to return to school and they will both be their healthy, vibrant selves once again...at least until their next bout of illness.

what do you get when you've been stuck in the house since thursday, sick with the kids? this:

pajama-clad, hoarse-sounding mama (who didn't even bother changing her clothes or washing her face {at all} today) and her coughing, chapped, boogery, warm, shirtless monkeys making funny faces for the very low-quality, built-in camera of the laptop. poor malik's rubbed his nose raw from constantly trying to wipe it and is continuously licking his lips, making them chapped. i've been slathering him with chapstick and some badger balm.
if you can't tell, we're going a little stir-crazy in these here parts, napping, putting puzzles together, watching veggie tales, creating with wool felt, and slowly {but surely} regaining our health.
when we're in the clear, you can bet we will be out and about and more social.

last week, i woke up in the middle of the night and saw the bright moon shining in our window. my camera happened to be sitting on my headboard, so i snapped a picture:

on Sunday, we played hooky from church because of our germs. that evening, we went to check out the lights at BYUH.

today, me and doug headed to the north shore {gma played with the kids - thank you!}.

the eddie went. and my husband was a happier man because of it.

doug actually surfed it saturday and scored some nice rides -- with some pictures to prove it, taken by a photographer with a fancy schmancy camera.

and we have been painting our house, rearranging furniture, ridding ourselves of excess; germs and all.

not fun, but very rewarding to see progress.

As of yesterday,

I became the owner of my very own albuterol inhaler (the red one, to be exact).

Not something I'm too ecstatic about, but to be able to BREATHE a little better --

what a GREAT feeling!!!

I guess that's what I get, thinking I was so fortunate as to not inherit my dad's asthma (like some of my siblings did).

Here's to breathing easy[er].

my sidekick

is sick. faith had a cough from school (at least that's what i think) and then this past tuesday she got a fever. her fever was pretty high in the beginning and then it tapered off. it would fluctuate throughout the day. on friday, her fever was gone. but she still has a cough. i'm thinking it was swine flu.

but on friday, malik got a fever. a really hot one, but without the coughing. it felt like the tylenol wasn't working -- he was still burning up. last night i slept right next to him and would wake in the night frequently to feel his temperature and put the fan on him or a cool, wet cloth over his forehead and eyes to try and cool him off a bit.

this morning i called the doctor for a walk-in appointment.

just before heading out the door, he threw up his breakfast.

my poor boy.

well, the thermometer read 102.9 at the clinic. he was so lethargic, i just held him in my arms the whole time and he just laid there. hot and uncomfortable; you can see it in his eyes and countenance. the doctor wanted to rule everything else out: strep, ear infections, burst appendix. he saw some redness and one spot in the back of his throat, but he said that it's not characteristic of strep. he said that if malik started complaining of pain in his throat or stomach or head then he may have strep. beginning yesterday with his fever, he was complaining of his "head being owie." so the doctor prescribes tamiflu along with amoxicillin, just to be on the safe side.

so we are home now. malik is trying to sleep off this illness. i am trying to keep him as comfortable as i possibly can.

here's to his health being restored soon!

faith when she was sick (happy with a towel on her hair like mommy);

malik pretending to be her doctor

**update**

by saturday night his fever was gone. he's still shaky and a little topsy-turvy when he walks, so we will probably be staying home from church today.

the rains came down

matti came over to watch my kids today -- both of them have colds, mind you. (thank you from the bottom of my heart, matti.) i needed to do a follow-up with an oral surgeon {concerning an x-ray of my jaw and sinus area}. i was praying that he would say, "oh, it's nothing to worry about," and i could walk out the door and be on my merry way. you see, in the x-ray my left sinus is clear and black, and the right side is cloudy and has more white area (or is it vice-versa??) anyways, the oral surgeon says it could just be my anatomy, it could just be that i was congested on one side when the x-ray was done, it could just be the way my insides reflected the rays...it could be...but to be positive that it isn't anything serious, another CT scan may be in order. this time for my head; specifically my sinus area. so, the oral surgeon will get some second opinions from his fellow radiologist pals and then we will know whether or not to get the CT scan. he says that most likely they will recommend the scan; just to rule everything else out.

i ain't gonna lie: i was/am scared. it's just so ironic that right after you get news of something "abnormal", the people in the room try to convince you not to worry or be scared and all that jazz. as if that's even possible!

i walked slowly to my car through the lightly falling rain, shut the door, and shed a few tears. i was thinking worst case scenario: if it is something serious, i don't feel prepared for that. i want to be around to raise my kids (hopefully have some more while i'm at it). i want to watch them play and learn and love, hug, and kiss them. i want to read them stories as i tuck them in at night. time to spill the deepest desires of my heart: i want to have an eternal family. i want to have the priesthood in my home. i want to watch my babies grow up and get married and have babies of their own.

i remember growing up and always having my dad there to give us blessings. he would give us one at the beginning of every school year, when we were sick, or if there was a big test or event coming up. i think the last time i got a blessing was when we got news of Faith needing open-heart surgery. i miss having that sense of comfort and security in my home.

so the moral of the story is: don't go to the dentist.

just kidding.

the moral of the story is, don't ever take anything for granted. seize and savor every moment.

and i'd like to ask for your prayers so that if i do need to get a CT scan, that everything will be okay. and i will have the faith that it will be.

i'd really appreciate it. thank you.

wake-up call

yep - my first name is syreeta

on tuesday, i took the kids to the doctor for some shots. it's been a while, but they were such troopers. malik only got one and didn't cry, but faith had to get four. they call it the "four-year-old special". yeah. lucky her, right? she cried, but i don't blame her. when faith started crying, malik started crying with concern for his sister. he was saying,"i don't want them to give faith shots." it was sad and cute at the same. as soon as we exited the room malik ran up to some kids he saw waiting in the hall, and with a smirk on his face he walks right up to them, sticks his hand with the bandage-covered shot in their faces and says,"YESSSS!!!! i gotta SHOT!" it made me laugh.
and then as soon as we got home, i got on the phone and tried to schedule an appointment for myself. you see, on Sunday evening i began feeling some discomfort on the left side of my chest. on Monday morning, certain movements would made me grimace and cut my breath short. i couldn't take full breaths because inhaling hurt, i couldn't lay down or move in certain ways without aggravating it. my first thought: i pulled some muscle involved in breathing (we use a lot of different muscles when we breathe - as i learned in anatomy...). wasn't sure which one - maybe intercostals? so i thought i'd wait it out and see if it got better. well, Monday night was worse. i couldn't sleep very well because i couldn't find a position that would relieve it. and then on tuesday, i took malik to the park and could only sit there and felt winded. i'm thinking it's due to lack of oxygen from my inability to breathe. pathetic, i know. this entire time i am praying it's nothing serious. well, after feeling so tired and unable to do much physically, really, without feeling pain or out of breath, i decide to make an appointment. i explain my symptoms to the receptionist. she tells me that the next available appointment they have isn't til Thursday. i can't be feeling like this until Thursday, incapacitated as a wife and mom. then she goes on to say that the doctor is probably just going to send me to the ER due to my shortness of breath and pain when i breathe. great. perfect. she says i may have a collapsed lung. wonderful. so Doug is home from work at this point and he decides to look it up online. i don't like knowing what's wrong. if it's bad, i'd rather not know. don't know why, scared i guess. so he starts reading off the symptoms and i definitely have some of them. so we decide to go to the ER. when i get there, i'm thinking, 'if this is all for a muscle sprain or strain i'm gonna feel like a moron' but then again, i'm praying it's nothing serious. i hate hospitals.
anyways, they set me up, the doc comes in and asks why i'm there. then she says that it could be a muscle strain, or a collapsed lung, or a blood clot in my lungs (from birth control, people -- not worth it!!! i haven't been on any since January, but i have taken the pills for a while and had some shots at one point), or maybe something with my heart. keeps getting better. i'm scared to death at this point. Doug is entertaining the kids somewhere. they draw some blood, for a test that will determine if i have a clot (which, the doc tells me, is highly unlikely since i'm so healthy). they start on my right arm and can't get a good flow going there, so they switch to my left. it works. then they set me up with an IV and give me some kind of painkiller intravenously. then i go to take a chest x-ray (my first x-ray, people). then they put all these stickies on me and hook me up for an EKG to check my heart (just like they did to faith on monday). the results for the EKG look good. the x-rays look great. then it's the waiting game for the blood test results. i talk to Doug on the phone and tell him all looks well. while i'm waiting i realize how many characters come into the ER. some of the things i was hearing made me laugh. then the blood tests come back. i just recall the words "slightly abnormal". okay, so what now? i may have a blood clot in my lungs, and "that is something very serious" the doc says. so i call Doug and tell him i need to go and get a CT scan of my chest due to the possibility of a blood clot. scares him. and me. they have to start another IV in my right arm to insert iodine dye into my veins for the CT scan. that way, if i have a clot, they will be able to locate it. the CT scan made me nervous. i was scared. what if i had a clot - i would probably need surgery. i was scared about that. i was shaking, my legs, the CT guy was telling me to calm down and just relax and everything was gonna be fine. i tried. tried to believe that. at the same time i was mad - why do they even allow birth control to be on the market if blood clots, strokes or heart attacks are side effects? i'll take a baby over any one of those things any day.
CT scans are something else, lemme tell ya. when the dye goes through you and you get scanned, you feel really warm inside. and when you feel that way in your guts, "it almost feels like you are peeing your pants, but you aren't". those are the technician's exact words, and he was right-on about that. then i torturously await those results. after what seemed like FOR-E-VER, the nurse comes in and says, i know you were scared and worried, but here are your results - negative. relief washes over me. at this point i am glad i came in, even if it probably is just a muscle strain. the doc comes in and says that after all the testing it is probably musculoskeletal and i am probably wishing i never should have come in but that it was a good thing i did because chest pain and shortness of breath are symptoms that shouldn't be ignored. this has strengthened my testimony and gives me a big wakeup call. the mundane things in life are now more precious to me. at least i have them. at least i can hug and hold and love my kids and husband. at least i can give my kids baths everyday, and do the dishes and laundry. at least i am here with my family and can watch them grow. and i am glad i have insurance. oh, yes, i tried not to worry about how much all of this was gonna cost while i was in there...
here's to life and enjoying every moment and remembering what is most important. yes, sewing and blogging can wait (note to self). our children are only kids once, let's all enjoy every wonderful moment of it while we can!!! appreciate the small things!!!

mommy the patient -- following the looong ordeal

stuck

literally.

at home.

running on one car at the moment...

if i happen to see you, then i'll elaborate.

so for now, me and the kiddos will be hanging out at our crib.

if anyone happens to be in the neighborhood

and wants to stop and say 'hello' or play or swim,

then come on by!!!

visitors welcome!!!

this is looking really attractive to me at the moment:

a neti pot. my sinuses are very congested (i may have a sinus infection) and it is annoying me! anyone wanna share their experience with one of these babies?

tonight i:

1. Sadly reaffirmed the fact that I suck, really suck, at making cupcakes using cake mixes from boxes. Yes, another botched attempt at cupcake-making took place this evening (the first time was when we had that cupcake decorating day, yes Steph, remember how pathetic my cupcakes looked next to yours???{prior to being decorated and beautified} I do. And then there was that time when I made cupcakes for Faith's birthday...). They always seem to turn out either under- or over-cooked (which is what happened tonight). My cakes turn out fine, just my cupcakes are lacking.

and

2. That I suck even more at choosing recipes for homemade frosting that sound and look good, but that's it. i.e., tonight I made Faith try a cupcake with homemade frosting (the recipe which I happened to acquire from a very prestigious magazine, I might add) and after she took one measly bite she stated, "That's disgusting. I don't wanna eat any cupcakes at Malik's party tomorrow." And she dropped it down on the counter and was done. Yep, that pretty much confirmed it for me. Kids are so brutally honest, which is why I ran it by her tonight in the first place. Let's just say I, and my husband, and my kids discovered we are NOT very keen on bittersweet chocolate. Now I know.

those who know me well

know i'm not a big "medicine" person. don't really do the tylenol, advil, ibuprofen, acetaminophen-whatever you call it for whatever ailment. i'd stick with the vicks or ricola cough drop things. anyways, my dad would always say, "Just suffer, then...", when i rejected his offer to take something to make myself feel better. and so that is what i would do -- suffer until it passed. until it ("it" being the pain or discomfort of being sick) would become so unbearable (which hardly EVER happens) to the point of me giving in and taking the drugs. it's not that i'm opposed to that stuff, i just think that if you don't need it, don't take it. so, i rarely get sick, but when i do, i do. really bad. so tonight, after crying a bit and wishing i was dead (okay, a little melodramatic, but it really happened -- but after the kids were asleep) i caved and after my shower i went to the cupboard and poured myself some 'nighttime' formula (nighttime mind you) and drank it all down in hopes of feeling some relief. so it was half the recommended dose - i have a low tolerance due to my infrequent usage. and so here's to feeling a little better and getting a good night's sleep, because my eyeballs are throbbing looking at this screen. goodnight.

my cuppa tea

today, i did a lot of this:

(thanks, malik, for being so obliging as to sit and watch toy story {and sesame street and bob the builder, and...})


and ate and drank a lot of this stuff:

and hopefully this ickiness goes away soon so my kids can have a more lively playmate.

and we wanted to do a shoutout to lil' miss adelaide, who just turned 2!!!